Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
