Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Randomize
