Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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