Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
