They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
