im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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