he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
