People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
