Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I FOUND THE LEGS
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
