weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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