My hand turned me down
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize