Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The adults are the big ones right?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
