I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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