Kiss
Puke
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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