the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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