make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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