At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
