There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
ttyl tear gas
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize