That's when you crack a 10am beer
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize