i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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