and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
