Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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