I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
