I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize