3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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