Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
