I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I'm bleeding and have questions
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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