But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
