You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
