marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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