I am in a vortex of obligation.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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