Actions speak louder than pants.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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