There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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