Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
