Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
