There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Randomize
