So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
