our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
