she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
