i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
