youre lurking in front of me
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
