Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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