Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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