Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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