Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Randomize
