i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
