Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize