i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
