Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
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