dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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