the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Randomize
