my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
