At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
