it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Randomize
