Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
