worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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