the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
