you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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