I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize