Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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