first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
