im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
